On showing up dirty

This is about the (literal) “rolling out of bed” look.

It’s not mock exasperation. It’s disgust.

I’m not talking about the artificial natural look which is basically about expertly tousling your hair and applying make-up for a nude, bare-face- my-hair-really-stays-like-this-when-I-don’t-brush-it effect, the whole process taking about 3 hours- more if you happen to be pale and risk overdoing it no matter how careful you are. At least this is clean.

I’m talking dirty.

I’ve seen it in films, when after having knocked themselves out drunk the night before and having overslept, late morning comes and characters fling themselves out of bed, throw jeans over their naked butts and little else and rush out dirty into the world.  Even if they’re in a hurry, can’t they just do a two-second scene with some basic teeth and hair brushing and deodorant applying?

I’ve read about it in Harry Potter, actually I haven’t read about it because Potter didn’t engage in any sort of basic hygiene. Couldn’t he have washed his face just once as well as putting on his glasses in one of the seven books?

And I’ve seen it today, when somebody showed up late…and dirty. So how dirty is dirty?

I’m talking about last night’s or last week’s mascara still stuck to your lids in clumps, and dotting your cheeks.

I’m talking about not washing your face or brushing or teeth or using deodorant.

I’m talking about greasy hair plastered to the back of your skull.

Next time further compromise punctuality for cleanliness sake.

If it shines, it’s wrong.

Dirty is like BS. There’s no room for it.

A little bit of BS

Want to hang out?

Can’t today…

Still having a bad time because of that guy?

No!! I no longer like him… I’m over him, I just use him for sex now.

Bullshit.

 

Who admits to cock teasing?

Just a quick and short post is enough for what I’m going to say, since there isn’t much debate around what I’m going to say, and if there is, well there shouldn’t be after this. The other night I met this girl at a friend’s kitchen and we exchanged a few odd comments here and there, and that’s fine because I can be odd too. At one point she said she wanted to go out and meet hot guys.  This is boring for me to do or listen to, but it doesn’t have to be bullshit, each to her own. She then added “Yes, hot men! I’m such a cock teaser!” That’s bullshit. Some other girl let out a laugh and high fived her proudly. That’s bullshit  x 2. A sort of I’m-the-best-cock-teaser competition ensued. I, being someone who just can’t shut it, had to intervene. It’s bad to be a cock teaser, and to be proud of it is even worse. You have the right to change your mind, but not to cock tease. It is better to be a whore. A cock teaser is bullshit, just like over promises are bullshit. A whore means business. She keeps her word.

If there is someone you like why cock tease? If you’re not going to do anything, well then don’t do anything. If you can’t help your cock teasing, well just deny it. This post doesn’t have a photograph. Google cock teasing and you’ll see why. The term whoring throws up classier results.

ON (WO)MEN

Spot the woman in the picture. Yes, that's right, there are 2.

Spot the woman in the picture. Yes, that’s right, there are 2.

A friend recently bumped into Cristiano Ronaldo and uploaded the above photograph on Facebook. This is a sample of the comments it received:

FACEBOOK COMMENTS

I want to elaborate a little further on my comment. If you ask me, there are two ladies in that picture. To be more precise, there is a lady (my friend) and a man (Ronaldo) who appears to have made it his life’s mission to look like an overly-groomed woman. He isn’t the only one, I’ve seen more than I can handle. And I have something to say. Continue reading

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Procrastination

So I’ve been procrastinating and that’s a bullshit thing to do, but what’s even more BS is the belief that I will one day be done with procrastination. I’ve also noticed that when I procrastinate I punish myself for procrastinating by further procrastinating.  Enough of this bullshit. I accept, like many others, if not everyone, have a tendency to procrastinate, but it shouldn’t end  there. Here I am. Posting again.

I’ve also done this with going to the gym. I stopped going and had a go at me for not going by continuing not to go. I’ve asked for help. A personal trainer twice a week. A personal trainer used to sound like bullshit to me but it’s a lot better than sitting on my ass all day listening to the cellulite forming under my skin and worrying about not working out and being fat forever.

Procrastinating has not meant that I have failed to notice and call out the BS around me.  I have continued to experience it and will keep you informed soon enough. This post is just breaking the ice. Again. The ice has to be broken more than once because falling into a passive mode is something I will always continue to do, and falling back out of it is something I’m learning to do. I won’t be fat. I won’t be lazy. At least not forever. I will procrastinate and stop procrastinating, procrastinate again and stop procrastinating until I die. Accepting this will minimize the BS and the procrastination. Hopefully. I hope that you forgive me for this BS post. Please bear in mind that the ice can be broken with anything. It’s a right. I also had to post at least 3 times in February. That’s a rule for any given month. I had another rule about images for every post. This is an exception. OK that’s it.

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Finding X

This is actually clever, blonde or not

This is actually clever, blonde or not

I’ve been thinking more about all of the nonsense that surrounds age and questions. Answering a question with another question is irritating practice, especially if it goes like this:

Question: How old are you?
Answer: How old do you think I am?

Apart from the fact that when someone asks a question they expect an answer and more likely than not should be given one, unless the question is very stupid, but in that case I would argue that such question deserves ignorance and not another question, in this case you’re looking for me to make you feel good. I should know because I do it all the time- both the people-pleasing and the compliment fishing.

There is also Maths involved and I’ve given up on it. My father would tell me that something would click in my head at 14 and Maths would be easy then, but nothing clicked. I still panic when I see a number, especially if it comes along with some letters. And here you have me trying to figure x out. Many times it’s not x alone. It’s x+ a lie so that I don’t hurt your feelings, and there are a few different scenarios. Some examples:

1. You genuinely look very, very young, in which case x should be the number that pops into my head. But if you were that young you wouldn’t be asking me how old I think you are so I’ll risk it and go for x+ 5. Because I like being right.
2. You look like you don’t give a damn about your appearance, as if you’ve never used a cream or peel. It’s safe to say that you look older than you really are. x-5. Just to please you. Or x+10 so that you get your shit together.
3. You annoy me because you’re hot, look younger than you are, know it, and yet you still ask. x+7.

Oh and I do think it’s OK to ask someone their age. What I don’t think is OK is lying about your age or hiding it.

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Can I go to the bathroom and other things that should imply automatic unemployment

Fired StampNow is a good time to take up my No BS business series. Yesterday a small part of my brain died when I overheard someone at work asking somebody else for permission to use the bathroom before a meeting. What sort of question is that? What is it that you’re really asking? What do you expect the other person to say? Every time someone above the age of 5 asks for permission to let their business out we are collectively dumbed down. I have a lot of respect for people who just get up and go when they have to. Sometimes during a meeting, someone gets up in the middle of something, could even be be their own sentence, and heads out. A little bit later, I hear the toilet flush and I’m flushed with admiration. It’s much better than the alternative of either holding it in or pissing and crapping yourself (with these three things being far better than asking for permission). You are more likely to gain my respect if you soil yourself than if you ask me about doing it. Going to the bathroom is something you have to do when you have the urge, even if there is no bathroom. No questions asked, especially in a professional setting.

Here is a list of other bullshit things we say at the office that should (note I’m not saying could) get you fired and ineligible for future work: Continue reading

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The crap around age

Facepalm gone wrong

Facepalm gone wrong

I feel uncomfortable everytime I hear this:

“I’d like to be 18, 20, 25, 30 again but knowing what I know now, of course.”

From someone who is 25, 35, 50, 65.

No you fucking wouldn’t.

Why does everyone nod and agree as if some wisdom had just been passed along? Has anyone really stopped to think what that would be like? Wouldn’t it be a social illness to be 18 and have the mind of a 65 year-old?

It could entail the following:

Continue reading

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Sun whores

Casper ghost

To all the sun whores out there:

I get that I’m very white/translucent/albino/casper/pasty- whatever BS names you can come up with to label my pale skin. What I don’t get is what the big deal is. Why all the questions regarding how much or whether I tan at all? Do I go brown or lobster red and then slightly brown? What’s so funny or interesting? That I’m more prone to sunburn? Skin cancer?

Even more baffling is that the same people that call me white/translucent/albino/casper/pasty are then surprised when they see me lathering up in SPF 50 or above. Have I missed something? I’m either so pale that I need to overprotect my skin or I’m not. Can you get your story straight or has the sun fried your brain beyond repair? Continue reading

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Alpha Beta Bullshit

alpha beta

I’m rather annoyed. It’s the second time in my life that I’ve been called a Beta female by friends.

First time it happened was a few years back when I complained to a friend that her presence always screwed up my menstrual cycle to be in sync with hers. Her period has decided mine- always. It doesn’t matter that I’m two weeks away, if she pops up and is due tomorrow, then so am I. That would piss anyone off! Most friends alternate the lead. She doesn’t. So, I had a go at her, demanding her to set my cycle free. Of course she refused, claiming she was the Alpha female and that was that. It sounded like a joke, more or less, and I forgot about it. Until now. Continue reading

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